Friend,
When you are sad, …
I will help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
When you are blue, …
I’ll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you smile, …
I’ll know you finally got laid.
When you are scared, …
I will rag you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried, …
I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
When you are confused…
I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.
When you are sick…..
Stay away from me until you’re well again. I don’t want whatever you have.
When you fall, …
I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath, I pledge ’till the end.
Why you may ask? Because you’re my friend!
P.S. A good friend will come bail you out of jail…..
but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, “Damn we fuck’d up”.
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