the blog archives of blindsyntax.com

I distance my self from the ones I love
for unknown reasons even to my self
things are going well despite other thoughts
today starts anew
the beginning is born

my eyes are closed i’m not looking
it will find me and make me happy
that is what they say will happen
i dont belive them, cause i have no luck
would be nice if i dont have to be the proactive one for once
have her come up to me and ask whats up
that would be a nice change of things

something from an old writing that i once wrote some time ago… when does the nice guy finish first? i’d just like to know, cause well it never seems to happen, never at all, just my luck, it all plainly sucks

what a night…. one should be happy after a night like that, but me? no, its just not me, well it is a side of me, but not the side that i want out at this time.

friends are the glue that help keep each other together

through the difficulty of life

it’s the bond that is ever lasting

sleeping in this bed of loneliness
the bed that matches the heart
that singular muscle that feels so single
the only time you dont want to be no. 1
but rather a half of the whole

my 2 do list:

– finish up work for kim (computer imputing/graphic designing goodness)

– actually use the teeth whiting strips, since i bought them

– redesign photo web site (and update photos too heh)

* p.s. if you know of a good hosting site where i can host the photos, but still link them into my own hosted pages that would be great… you know just thinking about bandwith transfers n such

– start to get rid of Buddha

-a possible redesign of blindsyntax, 3.5 or perhaps 4.0 not sure yet, but have some ideas

– clean the room – hard core!

– get back to the happiness that i was at a short time ago, what the hell happened to me?!?

in the dream i asked:
“ do you think that we could be more then friends?“

:: i then woke up ::

in the dream lies the answer to the question that should be asked in real life. so perhaps life will feel like a dream.

i was just wondering…

whats it like to hold someone in your arms that cares about you

whats it like to cuddle with someone

whats it like to feel special

whats it like to feel lucky

whats it like to feel wanted

whats it like to be wanted

whats it like to be lucky

whats it like to be special

i was just wondering…

…cause i forgot

well i haven’t updated in a while, and thats cause i’ve had a life, and haven’t had much to talk about. it seems that when i’ve talked about stuff on here its about a girl, or girls, or lack there of.

now this isn’t exactly about a girl or girls, or lack there of, but i was wondering to my self, why can’t i find a girl (not that i’m looking, cause you’re not sup to look, it will find you) that is interested in me as well as i’m interested in her. cause that hasn’t happened in some time.

now the ex, kelly she seemed like she liked me, but i have my assumptions other wise, but since then i’ve yet to have a girlfriend. i have tons of girls who are my friends, and that is nice and everything, but what the fuck, why do i always have to be that great guy friend girls have, and not that wow i’d love to date that guy. its getting kinda bothersome i must say.

like i’ve said to people before why can’t everyone just be upfront with things and now they are, hey i like you really? so do i cool lets go do something about it, or hey i like you, oh i’m sorry i dont but you would be great as a friend (ie my life) that would work too.

blah

so guy 1 has an interest / likes girl 1, but that girl 1 likes guy 2, where guy 2 likes girl2, now girl 2 likes guy 3, but guy 3 doesn’t give girl 2 much attention, so she talkes to guy 4, who likes girl 2, but girl 2 doesn’t want a relationship with guy 4, she wants it with guy 3, oh and girl 2 says that girl 1 shows interest in guy 1 but guy 1 doesn’t get and direct signals from girl 1, no matter how many times he put something out there

kinda funny if you ask me
again i go unnoticed – song by dashboard confessionals