blog.blindsyntax.com

Last night got back to Kat’s she passed out sprawled out on the bed covered in pillows and covers. I didn’t want to intrude or did not know I would be welcomed so I slept on the floor. When she first got up she said that was ridiculous and to get into bed I couldn’t fall pack to sleep but did rest, she was still drunk, and was too warm so she was on top of the covers looking beautiful with her long curls, cami and panties. I was under the covers her, she was on her side her leg on top of mine, me listening to her breathing as I was when I was on the floor, but now as I’m back in my own bed alone with my fan on as I always do to sleep I am feeling very lonely in my bed without someone next to me.

I also asked her if she thought that one day we could be more then we are now and paraphrasing what she said, that she couldn’t see her self making out with me, and after a quick thought I agreed with her saying that I couldn’t see it as well, so I guess my first love is over or at least has been starting to be over since the last year but fully confirmed last night/today, I’m not sadden by this just that I would like to just finally have someone in my life, its been too long and frankly I don’t feel like I could count Kelly as a real relationship although it was a good practice or a lesson learned I’d say.

So now ill go to sleep alone in my bed, wondering if she’ll come out sat night if she’ll stay the night and what that might entail, I know that it wouldn’t entail anything on my part to make the first move with her.